Listen…
I just returned from a walk with a friend who was reciting a story about an associated mother. The other mother had returned her phone call and went on and on about this expensive hobby she has and how everything was just oh so difficult…. You can probably picture it. Frankly, we could all be guilty of the same scenario, feeling sorry for ourselves, feeling stuck, not having enough money or not having enough time. Imagine, when my friend interrupted the other mother: “This call is not about you, it’s about me this time. I was just diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer and I wanted you to know.” Talking is about ourselves, listening is about the other. Listening is a gift and I believe it’s an art often underrated.
My friend also mentioned an episode of what not to say when you hear of someone’s diagnosis: “Well, do you have all your ducks lined up?” meaning, Do you have your affairs in order? Well she is not dying today, so this remark as a first response to the news felt very insensitive to my friend. So, what is an appropriate response when someone tells you something really personal? A heartfelt: I am so sorry!
